Thinking Out Loud


My dad is a complete goof-ball.

I've seen him cross the line in so many social settings,
I can't even begin to tell you.

Some of his standard acts include, but aren't limited to:
telling hostesses at restaurants his name is "Shania Twain" or "Kobe Bryant,"
confiding in new acquaintances that he struggles with being half bulimic ("Just the binging..."),
& dressing in costume to speak to his daughter on skype.

No family get-together is complete 
until his children have started in 
on remembering his past shenanigans.

But don't let his giddiness & giggly self fool you...
the man is smart.


thank goodness for photos like this. the young aspiring kennedy is in the pink suit...my  father in thigh-highs.

Like, he graduated from Harvard at 23 with an MBA
without ever taking a math class above high school geometry.

{Editor's note: I'm 92.6% sure I was adopted.}

So while he sometimes (read: often) can be someone to laugh with,
he also offers some incredible perspective.

In college, he introduced to me the idea that our disappointments are caused by expectations.

So, basically, me feeling bad about a situation 
wasn't because I had been slighted by something
or because I hadn't been given something...
it was because I had thought I deserved it,
and not getting it had left me feeling mistreated.

That small thought dramatically changed the way I see life.

Instead of expecting things to be a certain way,
I learned to stop expecting things
that I had previously seen as "normal."

It helped me enjoy my life as a gift... 
rather than something owed to me.

I stopped pointing the finger at something else for causing my unhappiness,
and changed the perspective that had originally caused me to feel entitled to it.

Whatever "it" may be.... being invited into a certain group of friends, 
getting a certain position within a group, 
or having my life look a certain way because that's what the other people
 of whatever community I am a part of look like.

{Editor's Note: Keep going with me, people. I'll wrap this up soon.}

My dad taught me to change who I am
instead of sitting back & criticizing the conditions or people around me
in hopes that they would change the outcome for me.

It helped me start enjoying the life that is before me
instead of waiting around for some outside force to make me happy.


{Editor's note: It's totally empowering to take away that control from other people.}


If I start thinking about how "off" our life is from the status quo,
it can give me anxiety like nobody's business.


We move every few months into temporary housing.
Tyler doesn't have a "real job" because he has a start-up.
Everyone (and I mean, everyone) else has kids.


When I start looking at other's people lives,
I can start to want my life to look normal... 
just because I think it "should be" like that.


But then I remember that if changed any of those aspects
-in hopes of fitting into someone's (or my) expectations of what my life should look like-
I'd be trading in a facet of my life that I cherish dearly.


(seeing the world, hanging out with Tyler every day, getting to pour my heart into my work)


Why the heck would I give up any just because it sets me apart?



The reason I'm writing all of this
is because I'm afraid that, if we aren't careful, 
blogging & social media can often leave people feeling disappointed.

So, dear friends, can I just suggest something:


If you feel bad after logging on to Facebook, 
reading blogs,
 or scrolling down Pinterest...
stop doing it.





For lent, I gave up seeing certain people that annoyed me
because I wanted to give up something that would actually make my heart better
instead of my typical "no desserts" routine.

Yup. I stopped reading their blog & hid them on facebook,
and, actually, forgot about them for 40 days...
and it felt really good.

So let me suggest that you do the same...
even if that means you stop reading my blog.


Clear your head & enjoy the life before you...
because if you stop comparing yourself to other people
and feeling that your life would be better if it looked more like someone else's,
you'll probably realize the life you're actually living is quite nice!





*Did anyone survive the length of this post?
*images here & here

Posted on May 17, 2012 and filed under "blog world".