I think the two babies I'm carrying
are the most important children in the world.
I enjoy the world stopping everything
and celebrating the resplendent fruit of my uterus.
with today's big news
coming from St. James Palace,
I'm happy to share the limelight.
Who knows when this little bundle of royal goodness is due
(as no due dates have been released yet),
but I think it's safe to say:
I'll be spending my summer
doing circles around Kensington Gardens
trying to shed some baby weight...
and in a pathetically obvious attempt
to bump into the happy little family.
PS. Have you heard the crazy rumor
that her hospitalizing condition, hyperemesis gravidarum,
is more common in mothers carrying twins?
Well, I had never heard of it before-
which makes me think people are slightly overreacting.
(Remember the whole "peanut butter" absurdity last fall?)
Though, if it were in fact true-
I can't say that I'd be mad to learn
that we were both carrying two babies.
It'd just align our trajectory of being friends all the closer...
and make the two of us, well, twins.
Emotions, screaming, fanfare welcome below.
I want to be cool about all of this, but I'm going to fail miserably.