Their Daddy's Mouth (Volume 2)


In efforts to compliment
the other post I had wrote earlier
about the *amazing* things
 that have come out 
of my husband's mouth
during my (our?) pregnancy,
I felt it would be a shame 
 not to immortalize 
the conversation that transpired
on our first visit to the labor ward
a few weeks back 
when I was getting all "Sybill"
with some nasty pre-eclampsia.




________________

SCENE OPENS:

Tyler & Lauren sit in chairs
in the assessment room of the hospital's "labour ward"
where women first go
upon their arrival to the labor ward.

Doctors & midwives working in this room
determine if you can be treated there,
if you are in false labor,
or, if you are indeed in actual labor-
which then upgrades you into a private room 
where you will have your baby.

In fact,
I took this picture of part of it
while having my blood pressure checked yesterday:




The assessment room is a fairly large room
with lots of curtains creating small areas for evaluation...

and close proximity offering a pretty low level of privacy.




As we sit there and wait,
a woman tucked back somewhere amidst the abyss of curtains
is having some really, really strong contractions
and offering the rest of the room
a soundtrack to compliment the condition.

She's puffing, she's panting, she's even getting pretty moan-y.

{Basically, it sounds like she is in the process of having a baby.}

Tyler, who has been immersed in emails on his phone, suddenly looks up at me and whispers:

"Do you hear that lady?"

Which one? The contractions lady? Yeah. 

"I mean, she sounds terrible. It sounds like she's in a lot of pain."

Yeah, babe. 
This is a labor ward.

"But that's kind of an exaggeration, right?"

An exaggeration? What do you mean?

"I mean, it's not really that bad, right?"

I'm sorry?
Do you not understand the physics of this process?
Yes, it's that bad. It's terrible.

"Well, obviously...
but I didn't realize it hurt that bad.

I just thought it was basically like a tough work out...
you know, it doesn't feel great,
 but you power through.

But that... that sounds way worse."

Okay, is this a real conversation?
Are you serious right now?

Right before his eyes explode, 
he apologetically glances at my stomach
and whispers,
"What have I done to you?"



____________________



I still laugh when we bring this up...
I mean, honestly,
a work out?




*all images original to Aspiring Kennedy via instagram. Username: aspiringkennedy
Posted on February 12, 2013 and filed under "TK", "babies", "laugh".