The Name Game

{This is a post about our babies. So yeah, you've been warned.}

* * *

Picking out a name for a baby is hard work.

Picking out two is even harder.

Tyler & I had decided long ago
that we wanted to use our grandmother's names,
Viola (mine) & Wallace (his)
for our children someday.

Having two little girls
seemed like the perfect occasion to do so.

We wanted both of their names
to have one family name
and one name we loved that made it up.

We also wanted to keep them secret until they were born.

We knew that they only way 
we could keep our mouths shut
was to not have names finalized
for as long as possible.

So, until then, we talked about them 
-and to them- 
as "Baby A" & "Baby B."

As we would lie in bed at night
with my gigantic belly pressed against his back,
Tyler would ask who it was who had the hiccups
(always Baby A)
and who was kicking him
(always Baby B).

But the day before I was admitted to the hospital,
we decided it was officially time to decide on names.

They were perfect... 
and they sounded so sweet together.

I won't go into the details here
of the delivery or the following 48 hours,
but when we weren't sure 
if Baby B was going to make it-
we didn't know what to do.

The hospital kept nudging us for names
and we were in so much shock
{and I was recovering from near-death},
it got shoved to the bottom of our priorities.

We could only hope for the two of us to recover.

The night that Baby B died,
we had to officially name her
for the purpose of the NICU filing paperwork.

And while we had other plans
for a "real" name,
it suddenly felt wrong to change that
to something we'd never known her as.

She was our Baby B...
that's all we ever knew her as
and that's how we wanted to remember her.

So that's what we named her... officially.
It's what's written on her birth (and death) certificate(s).

{I want to puke typing that sentence.}

Once we decided on that,
 we were left with the original two names
and only one baby to give them to.

 We decided to combine the two names into one
and let Viola carry on both of her grandmother's names
and a part of her sister. 

We are using the British pronunciation of  the name, Viola
-like "violin," but with an "uh" at the end instead-
as it's said in my favorite of Shakespeare's works, Twelfth Night.

{Who, ironically, is separated from her twin by a tragic accident.}

So, there you have it.

 Both girls ended up with names

that we hadn't planned on.

Their names aren't cute twin names that go well together.

Viola doesn't get to go through life

with an "&" attaching her to her sister.

...And sometimes those truths feel like a kick in the gut.

But in the midst of a situation that is miles away from perfect,
I'm thankful for this little bundle of cuteness
that carries on the names of her great-gandmothers...
and the tiny life of her sister.

*images original to Aspiring Kennedy

Posted on April 15, 2013 and filed under "TK", "babies", "life", "viola".