It's a Pretty Big Day: Baby Royal On The Way.


I think

the two babies

I'm carrying

are the most important children in the world.

I enjoy the world stopping everything

and celebrating the resplendent fruit of my uterus.


with today's big news

coming from St. James Palace,

I'm happy to share the limelight.



Who knows when this little bundle of royal goodness is due

(as no due dates have been released yet),

but I think it's safe to say:

I'll be spending my summer

doing circles around Kensington Gardens

trying to shed some baby weight...

and in a pathetically obvious attempt

to bump into the happy little family.

PS. Have you heard

the crazy rumor

that her hospitalizing condition, hyperemesis gravidarum, 

is more common in

mothers carrying twins?

Well, I had never heard of it before-

which makes me think people are slightly overreacting.

(Remember the whole "

peanut butter

" absurdity last fall?)

Though, if it were in fact true-

I can't say that I'd be mad to learn

that we were both carrying two babies.

It'd just align our trajectory of being friends all the closer...

and make the two of us, well, twins.

Emotions, screaming, fanfare welcome below.

I want to be cool about all of this, but I'm going to fail miserably.