Their Daddy's Mouth


I'm doing it.

I'm blogging about being pregnant.

Well actually,

I'm going to talk about

Tyler and my pregnancy.

While each child and pregnancy is special,

there has to be something extra lovely

about a man & woman

going through this process together

for the first time...

...because as much as I want to remember the feeling of my babies kicking,

the way I felt when I first found out I was pregnant

or the way they bounce around on the sonogram screen,

there is no way in heck I want to forget these gems

that have come out of my husband's mouth.

What I saw when I walked out to the car after we found out we were having twins.

When I showed him my pregnancy test,

I said "Look! Two lines!"

To which he replied...

"Woah. What does that mean??"

To which I laughed:

"Just that I'm pregnant... 


that there are two babies."

{That joke was on me.}


While waiting at the Doctor's office:

Lauren: Hey babe, look.

Remind me to tell our midwife that we want a home birth.

{Sarcastically points to flyer on wall about elective

home births.}

Tyler: What? We can't do a home birth...

Lauren: Well, duh. I know...

but why do you say that?

Tyler: Because our bath tub isn't big enough

for both of us


the nurse to fit in it at the same time.

Lauren: What?

 Oh babe, no.

No, that's not what happens.

It's not always in the bath tub.

Tyler: Huh? Where is it?

Lauren: It's like, on the bed, babe.

Tyler: You do what?


Do they make trashbags that big?


You know babe, 

now that your stomach is so big

it makes your butt look smaller.


While looking through racks of baby clothes,

I held up two outfits

and suggested them for their coming home outfits.

Tyler looked at me like I was an alien

and asked why we needed to buy outfits

to bring them home from the hospital.

I replied that we would have to bring them home in something.

To which he just rolled his eyes and said: 

Why can't we just wrap them up in blankets

 over their diapers?


So there we have it.

Straight from the mouth of man

who has given me two offspring...

and I can only hope they are just like him.